Hey, can we get real for a second? How many times have you stared at a ‘life goals’ list and felt… inadequate? Like you’re failing at someone else’s definition of success?
I remember sitting in my cubicle at 26, scrolling through perfect-looking life goals examples on Pinterest while eating a sad desk salad. Everyone had it figured out except me. The truth? Most of those lists are written by people who have never met you.
Here’s the truth we have learned through Femme Hobbies—a community created to help women explore meaningful hobbies and goals. Most goal-setting advice fails because it’s written by people who’ve never met you.
Through conversations and feedback from thousands of women in our community, we’ve seen how traditional goal-setting methods often don’t stick because they ignore your unique personality.
This isn’t another set goals, crush them lecture. It’s about finding what makes your soul light up—using ideas that work for real women with real, busy lives.
The Problem With Most Life Goals
If you’ve ever set a New Year’s resolution only to abandon it by February, you’re not alone. Psychological research consistently shows that around 92% of New Year’s resolutions fail, often due to misaligned goal-setting approaches.
We’re constantly bombarded with messages about what we should be doing. We should earn more, lose weight, travel to exotic places, and document it all with a smile. Social media creates a comparison trap, presenting a curated highlight reel of other people’s achievements that makes our own progress feel insignificant. This one-size-fits-all approach to success simply doesn’t work because it ignores our unique personalities, values, and circumstances.
My friend Jessica had all the right goals: a six-figure salary, a luxury apartment, and designer handbags. She achieved them all by 35 and was completely miserable. She realized she’d been chasing her parents’ dreams, not her own. Her story is a powerful reminder that authentic goals are essential for true fulfillment.
The Soul Search Method™ to Find Your True Goals
To find goals that resonate, you need to look inward, not outward. This method is about rediscovering the parts of you that got buried under expectations and responsibilities.
Step 1: Uncover Your Childhood Clues
What did you love doing as a kid? What activities made you completely lose track of time? Often, our childhood passions hold the key to our adult purpose.
Exercise: Take a moment and finish this sentence: As a kid, I always wanted to…
Don’t filter your answer. Maybe you wanted to be an astronaut, an artist, or a detective. The specific role isn’t as important as the essence of it. Did you crave adventure? Creativity? Problem-solving? Mark from our community loved building forts as a kid. At 42, he took that passion for creating cozy, small spaces and started a successful tiny house construction company.
Step 2: Conduct an Energy Audit
Pay attention to what energizes you and what drains you. Your energy levels are a powerful indicator of what aligns with your true self.
For one week, keep a simple log. At the end of each day, jot down the activities that made you feel alive and excited, and those that left you feeling tired or empty. You might be surprised by the patterns that emerge. Maybe meetings drain you, but one-on-one brainstorming sessions fire you up. Or perhaps scrolling social media is more draining than you realized, while a short walk outside recharges you completely.
Step 3: Do a No-Judgment Brain Dump
Grab a pen and paper, and for 10 minutes, write down every dream, wish, or goal that comes to mind. No dream is too big, too small, or too silly. All dreams are valid in this exercise. Want to learn to skateboard? Write it down. Dream of living in a cabin in the woods? On the list. Want to perfect a chocolate chip cookie recipe? Absolutely. The goal here is to get all your desires out of your head and onto paper without your inner critic getting in the way.
Life Goal Categories That Actually Matter
Traditional goal categories like career or finance can feel restrictive. Let’s reframe them around the human experience. Here are a few life goals examples to get you started.
1. Connection Goals (Not Relationship Goals)
This is about fostering genuine human bonds.
- Have one real, deep conversation with someone each day.
- Call a family member twice a week without rushing.
- Make a friend who is in a different generation from you.
2. Curiosity Goals (Not Learning Goals)
Stay curious and keep the world feeling new and exciting.
- Try one new type of food each month.
- Ask why? more often than you ask, how?
- Explore a neighborhood in your city that you have never visited.
3. Contribution Goals (Not Career Goals)
Focus on the impact you want to have on the world.
- Use your skills to help one person each week.
- Leave places and situations a little better than you found them.
- Share what you’re learning, even if you’re not an expert yet.
4. Comfort Goals (Not Financial Goals)
Create a sense of safety and peace in your daily life.
- Build a 3-month peace of mind fund to cover unexpected expenses.
- Create a morning routine that doesn’t involve your phone for the first 30 minutes.
- Learn how to say no to things that drain you, without feeling guilty.
The Anti-Burnout Goal System
Big goals can be intimidating. The key is to make them approachable and integrate them into your daily life without causing stress.
The One-Inch Framework
Break your massive goals into tiny, manageable chunks. Instead of writing a book, the goal becomes ‘write one paragraph today. Instead of ‘run a marathon,’ it’s ‘put on my running shoes and walk for 10 minutes. Progress, no matter how small, builds momentum.
The Good Enough Rule
As the saying goes, perfection is the enemy of progress. Embrace the idea of good enough. Maria, a member of our community, wanted to get fit. The idea of joining a fancy gym was overwhelming. Instead, she decided to dance in her kitchen for 10 minutes every day. It wasn’t a perfect workout, but it was fun and consistent. Two years later, she’s lost 40 pounds and, more importantly, found pure joy in movement.
Life Goals for Every Season
Your priorities will shift as you move through life. The goals of a woman in her 20s will look very different from those of someone in their 40s.
- In Your 20s: Exploration. This is the time to experiment. Try three different career paths before you turn 30. Live in a city that scares you a little. Learn how to fail and, more importantly, how to get back up.
- In Your 30s: Foundation. This decade is often about building. Build one deep, lasting friendship. Develop a skill that people are willing to pay for. Learn your own energy patterns and how to manage them.
- In Your 40s and Beyond: Meaning. Focus on legacy and impact. Mentor someone without expecting anything in return. Master one thing deeply. Aim to create more than you consume.
When Life Changes, Your Goals Can Too
Life is unpredictable. A job loss, a new relationship, a health diagnosis—these events can make your old goals feel irrelevant. It’s okay to pivot.
After my divorce, all the couple’s goals I had set for myself became obsolete. I had to rediscover what I wanted as an individual. It was terrifying, but it was also a beautiful opportunity to reconnect with myself on a deeper level. Adjusting your goals isn’t a sign of failure; it’s a sign of growth and resilience. As psychologist Dr. Sarah Jones says, Goals should stretch you, not strangle you.
When Motivation Fades (And It Will – That’s Normal!)
Here’s the secret no one tells you: Motivation is temporary, but systems are forever. When the initial excitement wears off – and it will – here’s how real women in our community keep going:
The 2-Minute Rule
When a goal feels overwhelming, commit to just 2 minutes. Want to exercise? Put on your shoes. Want to write? Open the document. The momentum often carries you forward.
Visual Reminders That Work
Keep your Childhood Clues visible. Sarah taped her ‘I always wanted to draw’ clue to her bathroom mirror. Six months later, she’s selling her artwork on Etsy.
Progress Over Perfection
Remember Maria from our community? She didn’t lose 40 pounds in a day. She danced in her kitchen for 10 minutes. For 730 days straight. Small + consistent = unstoppable.
The Why Reset
When you feel stuck, revisit your Energy Audit. What made you feel alive? Do more of that. What drained you? Do less.
Find Your North Star
Setting goals shouldn’t feel like homework. It should feel like a treasure hunt where the prize is a life that is uniquely and authentically yours. Ditch the shoulds and start exploring your wants. Permit yourself to dream, to play, and to pursue the things that make your soul light up.
Ready to start digging? Download our free Goal Discovery Workbook to walk through these exercises and uncover what truly matters to you.
Hey, I’m Shahzaib!
I started FemmeHobbies to create a welcoming space where women can discover fulfilling hobbies. While building this platform, I collaborate with talented writers and hobby experts to ensure every article feels authentic, useful, and empowering.
My main focus is handling the technical side, so our community can focus on passion, creativity, and connection.